In a shocking announcement last Tuesday, President Joe Biden announced a new annual “purge” policy that would serve as a means to combat overpopulation. The decision comes after the world’s population reached a staggering eight billion people on November 15.
“The annual purge is a necessary measure to ensure the survival and advancement of the human race,” Biden said in a press conference. “We can no longer ignore the fact that there are just too many people on this planet. I mean, eight billion? I can’t even count that high.”
The details of the purge are yet to be determined, but it is expected to include a 24-hour period during which forms of violence and crime will be legal. The date of the purge is rumored to be July 4th, with credible sources stating Biden said, “that would be funny”.
Notably, Vice President Kamala Harris does not seem to be in full support of the policy. “I suggested that we just send people to the Middle East and do the purge there, but apparently we already do that,” Harris said in an interview with The Bullhorn. “I still think there are better alternatives, like a more lenient death penalty. Why should jaywalkers and litterers get to live alongside law-abiding citizens?”Biden assured the public that the purge will have benefits beyond culling the population. “Since there will be no legal repercussions for actions taken during the purge, we expect significant reductions in crime when the purge is not in effect,” Biden announced. “You’ve got 24 hours per year. So just, uh, have at it, have some fun.”
The controversial new policy has received plenty of criticism from Republican pundits and politicians. Former President Donald Trump, in particular, took to Twitter to voice his opposition.
“Sleepy Joe makes yet another half-witted decision backed by spineless libs. SAD!”, he tweeted. Another post reads, “We don’t need corrupt Democrats telling us what to do. The population is eight billion – just STOP THE COUNT!”
The annual purge is set to begin next year, and citizens are being urged to prepare for the necessary sacrifices that will be made.
Art Credits to Camila Passos
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